A WSVN cameraman arrives and questions Shorty about the iPad Mini

A bloated-looking guy wearing a navy-blue-and-gold boat captain's hat and a huge white towel embroidered with the Ritz-Carlton logo arrives. He's eating an enormous ice-cream cone. He looks positively insane.A man with a crewcut announces that everyone must line up inside the cage-like fence if they're to be considered "in line" for the phones. The fence is new, probably a measure to prevent the fights over placement in line that have warranted police intervention during past camp-outs. We obediently herd ourselves into the corral.An Elvis mime slathered in white paint and powder sets up in front of us. Someone drops a dollar at his feet, and he does a perfectly choreographed rendition of "Love Me Tender." A grinning tourist snaps an iPhone pic. Does he see the creepy backdrop of mangy bums sleeping inside a cage on a sidewalk?
Kevin, a hippie who wears handmade eyeglasses with frames made of repurposed bicycle spokes, watches a swarm of Apple employees bustling behind the glass. He's also waited fruitlessly for a few nights in a row. "They gotta have a bunch of phones tomorrow," he says, as if trying to pacify his own fears.A WSVN cameraman arrives and questions Shorty about the iPad Mini. Like most everyone else in line, Shorty plans on buying phones, not the iPad. "I want to be the first to get the iPad Mini," Shorty says, lying. "I'm not going home until I get one." Asked why he wants to make the purchase, he responds, "It's got more apps." Right. But apparently his testimony is good enough for WSVN.Soft-bellied young men in Smurf-blue Apple Store shirts peer through the store window at the growing and motley crowd. They look frightened.Demetrio, a portly Greco-Argentine man who is sprawled out on his back next to me, trashes the folks to whom he plans to sell his phones. "But I'm glad they're stupid, because it benefits me."Randall is snoring with a sickly wheeze. Meanwhile, a drunk Australian marches up to the fence. "You lot are sad!" he pronounces, his right hand gripping a cocktail in a plastic cup. " 'Oh, I just have to be the first to have the iPad Mini.' Do you know how stupid that is?" He doesn't seem to notice he's talking to a group of scruffy bums who clearly aren't in the market for $400 toys.
The first batch of people who plan to buy the iPhone for themselves arrives. They tote lounge chairs, snacks, and soda. The iWait team, though, already has the first 30 spots.All the front-runners are asleep, including Rambo, a copper-haired and sunburned Iraq War vet who wears fatigues and clings to a canteen. He's wrapped up in a camouflage sleeping bag.Shorty sidles over to me, winks, and says a guaranteed buyer will pay $100 for my phone. A pale, pig-nosed, freckled little Brazilian dude eyes us nervously from outside the cage. Shorty says Freckle-Face wants to buy ten phones.